3rd April, 2025 — Professor gave me a candy as a birthday gift. Got a good grade on a test I thought I would fail.
31th March, 2025 — Dad says a pigeon flew into his windshield (I'm sorry, Pigeon). Forgot the church night Camila invited me to yesterday, because of everything—I saw her messages just this morning at the faculty. Letters, warmth. Cramps, nausea. Cryingtrain, feeling.
30th March, 2025 — Lost my right eye contact lenses. Beach salt water. Vitamin D made me happier.
29th March, 2025 — While kneeling after communion, wobbly vision on my left eye; at the end of Mass, drops of holy water clinging to my glasses’ left lenses. When the Priest D told us that today's parable was the Prodigal Son I wanted to laugh. My mother's earlier message: She looks sad.
27th March, 2025 — Camila braided my hair. Calico slept on my lap between classes. Learned how to make rice.
24th March, 2025 — A crack on the train window that resembled a flower. Mental fog from lack of sleep, mostly my fault, partially Benny's. When I walked to another end of the platform, one of my classmates who shares the same ride came in my direction while waiting for the train & I turned back around. I was relieved he didn't sit in my wagon this morning—surface social interactions are painful ('a drag', as Shikamaru would put) and I just want to listen to music and stare unseeinly and mindless at the outside after waking up so early, even though I feel slighly bad. Had a dream Brother almost died because of chasing someone trying to steal our car (he didn't). Asked Dad during the car ride if he would choose dying inside the Titanic from drowning or from hypothermia outside—his answer: I can't choose, you only know this things when they happen. Mine: Hypothermia.
23th March, 2025 — Dad and I were very disappointed by the ending of Adolescence.
23th March, 2025 — New soap bar (pink). Waking up at six, getting up at seven. Had a dream about seeing the sunrise from my window full of pinks, yellows & purple-blues. Today the train had voice assistance, reading the stops out loud with the robotic female voice. From the window: birds flying, blue-distant-mountains, a siege (the collective of herons) on a group of trees. A station named Hope. Black and white cows on a field, eating.
21th March, 2025 — Three Uno games before class (lost all of them). A Shiba Inu eraser just like Aysha (my Shiba Inu Plushie, 'with love, a gift from Mara'). The cross on top of a church backed by fluffy clouds. Brother showed me a Brawl Stars' character designed like poop (Poop Spike). Walked a lot with the unforgiving sun on my back, sweat covered shirt. Dad tricked me saying that he had eaten the leftover pastels for breakfast during the car ride (he didn't). Lying on the hammock after a while. Dead headsets.
21th March, 2025 — A cute bird crossed my path to the station. A small spider on the wall. Mg12 written on a column with a generic blue marker color. Leaves pattern on the door of the bathroom stall. Songs (Get Me Away From Here I'm Dying by Belle and Sebastian & Auld Lang Syne by Surfjan Stevens) on repeat during the trainride. My faded Freshwater Sport Fish poster has come off one end. Seeing construction machinery being used during lunchtime while eating. Discussion about purê (pirê) with a french accent instead of just purê (mashed potatoes) that escalated to abajur (lampshade) and perfume. Two hours trying to print documents. Dad brought me pastels at night after I mentioned that I craved them during the car ride back home. A butterfly inside the train, still riding alongside us.