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Here I present you tadammm... my Mini Blog, where I post Non Regular Blog Things. They are supposed to be just passing thoughts, so don't look too much into them!
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8月06日 (10:16) Who would’ve known that you only need two and a half weeks of self-pity and procrastination to regain control of yourself again? It was like a lighting strike. Suddenly, last night my motivation was back to normal, which I’m most grateful for. I got to study a lot, which made my guilt vanish for a while.
Yesterday I tried to sleep without the AC again, but one mosquito kept biting me, so I had to surrender to the artificial cold air so I could use a blanket to protect myself. That’s why I woke up tired, and retained nothing from my first class about annelids - worms and other soft animals. I will have to revisit it again later… I hope my pet worm, Horald, is still alive inside my plant’s soil. There is no way to tell, so I just wish he is well and living his best life. Because I was dozing off I bought a coffee - that even though had sugar, it was not sweet enough for me. I usually put condensed milk so I can stand the assault on my tastebuds, but I had to go without it - it would be weird to request that to the lady on the refectory. I still feel the disgusting taste now, but at least I’m fully awake. Things are better.
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8月01日 (21:27) I'm so dumb. I let my brand new mouse fall and now it won't work anymore sdlkvjhadfliv - I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF.
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8月27日 (07:00) My plant has two new leaves. I'm proud.
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8月18日 (19:29) I wanted to run today, because my knees are hurting a lot. But, yesterday I spent the night drawing and went to sleep at 1 AM, so I woke up at nine and there was no more time to do so - I had a mock exam this afternoon. Here the sun sets pretty early, about 6 PM so I lost my chance to get my dose of Vit D. I will for sure go to the gym tomorrow and maybe I will even be able to beat my last record (10 min of running). I also bought a suplement on our last market visit - Whey Protein - and I have been drinking it on the mornings. Lately I've been wearing gold jelwery instead of silver, to try to change things a bit - and I like it! I got a pearl necklace that I find particulary beautiful in it's simplicity. Everything feels better after exercising, write that down. I'm posting this after washing my hair - the conditioner smelt really good, like citrus and coconut.
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8月16日 I always get nervous before the release of important news...I`m reloading the page again and again, even though I don't know the time they will post the results. I was gonna write an entry yesterday but I forgot and studied until late at night. My mom, while she was washing the salad, found a worm - and she is deathly afraid of them. Because I had bought a new plant to replace my dead one, the worm now lives on my balcony (i will name the plant once i get home.) There was also a bee that landed on my finger when i was sun bathing while watching bio video class, but it was calm and very cute. I feel very productive today because yesterday was a holiday, a religious one. So I got to rest and we went to church and had breakfast there. Me and dad went to Sam`s Club after to buy a new clothing iron, and I got the new plant. We only had 40 min to do our routine at the gym because they closed up earlier but we didn't know, so now I'm hurting a bit.
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8月11日 I like to take cold showers and to wake up early in the morning, before anyone else wakes up. The apartment is quiet and the air feels somewhat fresher, and I have breakfast alone with Benny, our dog. It's a moment just for us, because when I get up he does too, sleeping curled in his little purple bed beside my own. I always have coffee with condensed milk, while dad has his without any sugar. Cold showers make me feel alive, the chock and the happiness from the spray of freezing water makes me feel more energized each time. Today, on my way to the gym (alone, finally!) there was an ambulance, red and loud running across the street. I did 1.2 km today ion the treadmill, even if I was panting and sweaty at the end of it. When I got home, I could see perfectly well one of the green parrots that stay at the tree in front of my window at noon - he was very cute. Now I'm eating tangerine peels my mom gave me, while watchng some video classes. She tried to give them to Benny, but he only sniffed them and let them sit on the ground, untouched.
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8月7日 My Virgin Mary bracelet finally snapped today, after hanging by a thread for a long time. Fortunately, I didn't lose it, but now I have to find a way to mend it. i think it is at least four years old and I've wearing everyday for at least two of them. It's uncomfortable to be without it, same with my watch, but I will survive. Also, today I woke up and my cold was gone, after two weeks of suffering and lots of sneezes. I will go to the gym today. I need to, because my legs are aching something fierce for sitting down too much.
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8月6日 Today, while studying the physics of vision, I recalled the time I spent using an ocular patching as a kid to treat strabismus. They were pretty annoying, because of the glue that irritated my skin and was so strong that it always made me cry while I took it off. I whish I've used something better, like Kaneki and Kakashi's eye patch or just a pirate one instead of the standard beige. Maybe I could have answered the kids that I'd lost my eye because of an alien cat like Nick Furry, instead of repeating my medical diagnosis for the tenth time. It would have made me happier while wearing it, and much cooler too.
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7月31日 Physical exhaustion. I couldn't sleep this dawn. at 1 am i was still reading on my phone, because of the coffee i drank in the morning. i regretted not having dinner after i got hungry, but didn't have the will to go eat something at that time, late as it was. i probably fell asleep around 2 am. woke up at nine and we went to the mall to go ice skating, after i ate a tomato for breakfast. it was a good time, even if i got lightheaded from hunger and from stumbling down backwards into the ice (just once. my brother fell six times.) i still have a bit of a headache, but i'm better now. tomorrow everything comes back to normal, the routine of class, house, and more studying. i hope everythings goes well. i hope i can sleep today.
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7月30日 I cried in my bed yesterday. i took the time to just exist. set my phone and notebook down and just stared at the walls of my room, hearing the crickets and the sound of the things inside swaying with the wind. i miss my grandma, even though I didn't knew her very well. even though she died four years ago. i wish i would've spent more sundays having lunch in her living room, hearing her cuss some of my cousins and reprimending my parents for putting too much pressure on us. i have some of her things now. the last doll she ever gave me for christmas, two of her huge baby dolls, a porcelain vase, her chairs where we used to sit in the small room with her overweight cat - who passed away shortly after her. i think i never let myself truly miss her, because i didn't think i had a reason to, being away from her for more than a decade, only visiting on the holidays and hearing from sporadic calls. but i do. i'm trying not to cry writing this. i didn't think it would impact me so much, after so much time. while i was staring at nothing, after laying down, i thought about the butterfly drawing i had in my nine year old room. it was big, pink and with a lot of glitter. i used to press my fingers on it, feeling the dired up glue and the texture of the glitter grains. i wonder if it's still somewhere here or if it was lost during the moving in. i struggled to sleep. i tried not to think in english and failed. eu não quero pensar em inglês. eu não quero. i feel like i'm loosing something. i woke up very tired today.
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7月28日 i wish i had the time to spend on things i enjoy. i want to start learning japanese again, after abandoning russian midway. i wish to read the books that are acummulating dust in my shelf, bought years ago. but, right now, i can only focus my attention on the important things and sometimes indulge in some momentary small pleasures. i think i'm adulting.
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7月27日 i saw two hawks flying from the windows of the apartment today (i live in the 5th floor). they were probably hunting pidgeons and little birds. I tried to sleep without the ac but gave up after half an hour.
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7月26日 my mother helped me paint my hair back to dark brown today. the red did me well during the time i had it, but my roots were so grown! I was a bit angry nobody told me how bad the back of my head was starting to look.
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7月24日 this mini blog is such a good place to rant. i wish i was better at coding, but i'm not willing to spend more time into this - i'm already busy enough. maybe someday i will.
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7月23日 i reaaly don't want neocities to become a new social media. people need to take a break from likes and public praise. who care is someone enjoys your website or not? this is like your room, but with glass walls. your domain. don't become too caught up on what others are doing in theirs.
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7月22日 i need to get out, but i'm too lazy...i'm gonna become vit d deficient at this point.
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